Dear Succeeder,

Here you will find a few things that I have written in my main stream about you. I told you that I felt pain. Well, here's how I handled some of it.


Sunday July 2, 2006

The Mess -Little Black Book

Once again, the dynasty is falling. The source of destruction be not the same, but I am sinking fast. He has forced his way back into my life by tearing down the bricks that have built the wall to keep him out. I know what I must do. It just seems too early for an occurrence of such a manner. In recent events, I am put to a test, only to watch failure erupt instantaneously. I am not lost, for I am certain God has found me. However, I struggle harshly with pressures. The art of lying has again staged itself to look harmless. Words go unread. Words go unwritten. Documentation is lost. This is not like me. This is not like me at all. It seems one harmless sin in a broad region has begun a chain reaction. There is no harmless sin. I know now how that works. Lately, I've even composed thoughts of death. The cruelty of death itself when gone foreseen, is indismissable. Words have flown incompletely to the love that surrounds me. My eyes speak completely, but are gone unseen. The words from my lips bring about a black haze of chaos. This haze only results in poison. I must defeat what has broken through my wall. I shall rebuild it stronger, thicker, and greater. May God provide me with the strength to lift my bricks again.
11:36 AM

Wednesday July 5, 2006

My Interview with the Devil

"Well so i heard you and patty dated for a while."
-Legion
"Your world dwells upon a cage."

"Yes we dated. It began habitually and ended badly. He called me last night. I literally started shaking. I can't say it was all his fault; I was naive. I don't know if he knew what he was doing, but he was killing me. Life contains quicksand. If you don't watch where your going you'll sink. I sank to the bottom of that pit. Fortunately for me, someone came along and pulled me out. I wasn't who I wanted to be with him. Another ran my life. Anyhow, I don't know if you knew, but I write now. I mean I've always written things, but now I'm attempting to slither my way into the window of writing. The little black book comes in handy. If your interested, I'll send you something. I could always use some constructive criticism."
-Lizzy

"yeah sure im always up for a good read and ill tell you what i think. You Know i will give you my honest opinion. Sorry about what happen with you guys and im just sorry i wasn't there to pull you out. i want to be there for you."
-Legion

(Oh woe to you who speaks to me now. The world has changed and love cannot be found. Your lies and deceit cannot be beat. Your thirst for my blood is poison. Years ago, you were looking for something. "You are my treasure, but I can't seem to find the key." You failed. Years later, you return and see a second chance for success. Failure is not an option. You aim to woo me. Will it work? Will you suck me into your fire? Your candle is lit, I can tell, but do you really intend on burning me? Yes. Yes, you do. I can't see your eyes, but I can feel it in your touch. You'll return to my dreams? You'll haunt me again? Why? What is it that you want from me? I got it. I'm the you couldn't crack. The box you couldn't open. I'm your challenge. If you can get to me, you'll have beaten all. Is this what you seek my love? Do you aim to steal my soul? Am I ready? I have yet to equip my weapons but, am I ready? You are the strongest of them all. Am I ready? Is this my battle? Monster? Monster help. You are the reason he left my life for good. I need my angel. He weakens me so.)

12:43 PM

Tuesday February 20, 2007

Consisto

You have again reappeared,
Does this mean a thing,
You have again reappeared,
Am I expected to sing,

For once you left,
Not a word,
You reappeared,
And I was lured,

But then you vanished,
Without a sight,
My heart ached greatly,
That very night,

And now you've come,
To turn around,
The pain you caused,
Without a sound,

My lips are sealed,
Your words are there,
My heart is taken,
But do you dare,

To surface all,
Left in me,
From such a day,
You made me plea,

I wrote,
I write,
It's different now,
With you it's great,
Knowing not how,

But when it's at,
It's highest peak,
It flows with beauty,
Ever so meek,

I know not what,
Your spirit yields,
I only know,
Of our similar guilds,

For it is not,
What we possess that matters,
But instead,
The direction in which we climb our ladders,

Your call was pleasant,
In a peaceful way,
I still feel something,
But dare do I say,

If in time we find,
This to be more,
Than a breath of air,
Or a knock on a door,

I won't forget you,
Not a single thing,
A love unlost,
In an ocean of pain.

2:56 PM

Wednesday March 14, 2007

Omnipotent

I came back. I surprised everyone(mainly myself). I don't know if this means that I am that much weaker or if I was feeling miserable for a reason. So many events have unfolded themselves over the past five days. Healing is well on it's way, but I sit here writing and confused beyond my years.

One soul. There is one soul that cannot be forgotten. I don't mean forgotten completely because I forget noone. No. No, I simply have wished to forget my love for this person. I simply wish to embark upon my own adventures without remembering how it was, how it is, or how it could be. Or do I really wish to forget? If I simply don't think, will he vanish from my heart? No. He will not.

So here I sit, in the blessed years of my youth, pondering what my future may hold. Life is full of doors. God opens some and closes others, but still you must choose. It is like the novel, "The Notebook". Two young lovers find each other over summer vacation. They spend every waking moment together before they are separated. The girl is later set with the decision of whether she should choose to marry a rich and handsome man of noble blood or her poor and charming first love who offers true happiness.

Every bit of my head tells me no, but every piece of my heart tells me yes. Four years. Four years I have seen him come and go from my life, but it is not ten years. Shall I wait until is be just that? I have done nothing to make more of what is or what has been. So I wait.

12:46 PM

Sincerely,
Anna

P.S. May the Lord carry you in this time of trial.

Hello All,

Please read this story...

(One day two men were going up to a church-around 3pm. Now a man, crippled from birth, was being carried to the church gate called Beautiful, where he was being put every day to beg from those going into the church courts. When he saw the two men about to enter, he asked them for money. The man on the left looked straight at him, as did the man on the right. Then the man on the left said, "Look at us!" So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.
Then the man on the right said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right had, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles bacame strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the church courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.)

This story is a revised version taken from Acts 3. I told this story to several people. I changed the scene of the church to a park and created a modern day picture. I then asked them what there instant reaction would be to a sight such as this. Here are the answers I received:

Amy of Las Vegas, NV: (wide eyed) "Holy shit! No way, dude!" (Watches a while longer, conscience of surroundings)

Tracy of Las Vegas, NV: (Scared) "You guys are freaks." (Quickly walks away, avoiding confrontation)

Kevin of Las Vegas, NV: (Amazed) "It's a miracle!" (Stays and watch for a while to see if anything else happens)

Ryan of Joplin, MO: "Wow!" (clearly impressed) (Turns around and walks away)

This is an independent study that I have recently taken up. It would greatly assist my efforts, if you would so kindly add your reaction to my comments page.

Thank you,
Lizzy

So I just made an account on youtube. If any of you would like to see what life is really like (outside of my ever so depressing blog) then go to terribledancer09 and check my videos out.

See yah,
Ash

A little over a year ago.

Dear Casimire,
I had an entire letter typed up and ready to send your way, but somehow I find myself rewriting it completely. Life has its decent moments. People say my life is harder; I disagree. If my life were harder, I wouldn’t be sitting at this computer typing away nonchalantly. Instead, I’d be out somewhere, like the rest, in the middle of this desert, searching for food. I saw them, Ryan. I saw them all. Every morning on our way to work they’re gathered in the park. It almost looks as if they’re waiting. Whether they’re waiting for him or simply something better to come along, I don’t know. What I do know is that I have it made. I’m just like the rest of them you know. I fear that I am nothing other then a selfish spoiled 15-year-old girl. Every single time something good comes along in my life, I lose it. I slowly begin to get greedy and then poof, it’s gone. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I always have to love someone. The intimate part just happened a little too early in life. I was twelve Ryan, twelve years old. I didn’t know a thing. All I knew was that I loved another and it was going to last forever. Isn’t that how it always is? It’s always going to last forever. I’m tired of disappointing him Ryan. I want to do better. I’ve always wanted to do better. I guess that feeling has kept me alive. That’s my hope. When I was pulled down and nearly destroyed, I had that hope deep inside me. I held onto it tightly. He pulled me out and told me to start over again. There are certain things that I disappoint myself with greatly. I cannot seem to surpass them. I am bestowed with such callings as authority. I once attempted to extract the negative influence from my life, but its effect broadened miraculously. (I'll write more later. I have to get back to work.)

I met someone. Does this mean anything?